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Patient Ones

by Erica Freas

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Justin Heim
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Justin Heim The quiet beauty of this album belies an incredible strength of character, and it practically drips from every word sung. I've listened to this dozens of times over, and yet I keep finding new ways to relate and understand what I'm hearing.
Erica is truly a beautiful human being, and I only hope that she continues making amazing music. Favorite track: Sun.
Matt from Austin
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Matt from Austin Sorry for the flattery, but you are a fucking Quasar among luminaries. Thank you for sharing your music!

- The World Favorite track: The Dirt.
jerseymes
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jerseymes Absolutely astonishing. Impeccable songwriting. Vibes for dayyyyzzzz
cash hauke
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cash hauke Erica you give so much strength and love with your songs its really helps to survive the darkest times. Sending so much love back!!!
Liz Homer
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Liz Homer Erica Freas writes the most accessible, heartfelt and honest lyrics I think I've ever heard about life, death and love. Combined with her voice and chord selection I can't stop listening. She's my favourite!
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credits

released September 30, 2016

Voice & Guitar : Erica Freas
Cello : Jen Grady
Choral Arrangement : Lindsay Scheif
The Patient Ones Choir : Colin Ashante, Don Freas, Ethan Camp, Jack Gray, Jemmy Joe, Julian Gomes, Matt Buscher, M Sather, Paris McClusky, River Nason, Sam Kates-Goldman

Written by Erica Freas

Recorded and Mixed at Neanderhall Recording Studio, Olympia, WA, USA by Matt Buscher. May 2016.
Mastered by Carl Saff

Don Giovanni Records 2016

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Track Name: Moon
In comes your skin, under the covers and I know I’m sleeping. Sleeping and dreaming too good to be true. Your voice on the line, I won’t change the channel, it keeps me from sleeping. A good night’s rest, yea, we’ve all missed a few…// looking out at the moon. Looking out at the moon, if you break it up small, make it nothing at all just a ticket to you.// Must have been a dream, shrinking and growing your shadow beside me, cut up by the shade of some familiar tree. Well, I’ve got bees for teeth but you opened your mouth and all the stars fell out, burning holes through the hard parts of me.// Looking out at the moon, looking out at the moon, if you break it up small make it nothing at all, make it for soon. I can taste it that’s all, a long distance call and a photo of you.// Now we know what’s a dream, stepping and moving so slowly it seems. Put together what’s you and what’s me? We’ve been on our knees in the shadow of time for all eternity. We painted the clouds in our shapes and we sing// “Looking out at the moon, at that brilliant cocoon, looking into the fury of now, never, soon.” If you break it up small it’s like nothing at all make it take me to you. Looking out at the moon, looking out at the moon, I can taste it that’s all, yea the yearn and the fall, what a long night will do…// and I know you’re at work so you probably won’t hear it, but I just called the DJ and asked her to play you a song, then set my mind to broadcast transmission and I hope you feel it and say “Hey fuck you, Pat, you know let’s turn that radio on…”// Looking out at the moon, looking out at the moon, I can taste it that’s all yea the yearn and the fall what a long night will do.// Looking out at the moon, looking out at the moon, if you break it up small make it nothing at all make it take me to you. Yea, you just break it up small ‘til it fits in your palm like the daydreamers do.
Track Name: Silver
It’s hard to discern, you live and you learn, and I know you’re learning, oh how you’re working! And it’s been hard, we’ve had it hard, with us and with ours. Now with all that hurt you’re the one hurting, I bet you’re thirsty. We can’t stand on words, you’re slouching, you’re bending under your actions, now we’re thirsty for action, whoa oh oh! // I saw the silver, I saw the silver, we’ve all tasted silver sometime. I saw the silver, I saw the silver, but we swallow our tongues and hide.// Though it took years to name it, it’s always been true. We can’t believe or breathe for the shame and we wonder what’s true. Yea, well, I know that the fear’s contagious and it’s choking you, though it took years to name it, it’s always been true, it’s always been:// I saw the silver, I saw the silver, we’ve all tasted silver sometime. I saw the silver, I saw the silver, but we swallowed our tongues this time.
Track Name: The Sea Around Us
For a long time we were coasting on fumes. It didn’t matter: we were glued to the view, out from the frontlines with nothing to lose, the world got longer, the world got longer.// Read an author, she was born in the sky, died not long after in the context of time, and in the middle she had a beautiful mind and it spilled over, it spilled over.// Would you shine when you get up to fight? Would you win faster by dimming your lights? We’ll all get smaller ‘til we all disappear, if we hide how we’re bright out of some distant fear.// We’re always sinking, separate and sore, but deep sea mountains: how are they formed? And do they, too, start to die from the moment they’re born. The world is changing, always has been. Would you shine when you get up to fight? Would you win faster by dimming your lights? We’ll all get smaller ‘til we all disappear if we hide how we’re bright out of some distant fear. Yea, we’ll hide how we’re bright but it’ll just be from fear…// We need you. Your beautiful brain, your clever eyeball and your love for the rain cuz we’ve got a lifetime for pushing back against pain. If something’s pretty, let it be pretty.
Track Name: Like Weather
Pieces of the future lie like weather on your face, sometimes I think of how it was before. Sometimes I’m overtaken by the wave that brings the change, that flavor of the mouth against the shore. And it stretches my skin when I try to predict everything. I try to see the nighttime from the day. We’ve all taken measures to protect what we prefer and hoarded those we’ve loved along the way.// So, I went to sleep in hopes I’d wake up and be strong, behind my lids would change what needed change. And it stretches my skin when I try to make you everything. I try to squeeze the nighttime from the day.// I hope you taste what I am not. Hope you eat all that you want. Hope that we don’t close our eyes or look away. There’s years beneath our feet and I still flinch when you flash your teeth. Baby, we have choice but can’t choose not to change. Cuz you’re bigger than me and I won’t be the wind and the sky and the sea but it’s not about what we say it’s about what we believe.// It’s not about dodging rain cuz we’re gonna get wet either way. So let go like weather, what’s better than more of the same? Let go like weather, a tether won’t hold back a name.
Track Name: The Dirt
The clouds came cuz you were cold, and leaned into the wind to let it sway your bones. And how your rib cage took the weight of all that ache, and your heart got so damn heavy, so dull and heavy. You could close the windows cuz that looks strong, or lean into the panes and let the rains fall on you. And how you chose so fast, how did you move so fast with a heart so heavy? So dull and heavy.// Well, remember how you told her you were sleeping below the dirt cuz somebody told you just how bad they’d make you hurt? They never said that but you felt it, so that was what you heard. Kendra can we come home now? How we live with what we learn.// The coast that caught you kept you moving along and you grew calm and you let your hair grow long and then you took up swimming, so now you’re fucking swimming, yea baby keep on swimming oh…Forever now. Find your tether now. Then write it down, write it down, write it down. Put your feet back above the ground.// And remember how you told her you were sleeping below the dirt cuz nobody told you just how badly this would hurt? Yea, they said that but you couldn’t hear it for whatever that’s worth. Kendra can we come home now? Can we hang up the phone now? Girl, are you coming home now? How we live with what we learn.
Track Name: Patient Ones
Went to the water side like I’ve done a hundred times, hoping for the right tide, to this time see your body. Oh, the patient ones, at the mercy of the setting sun ‘til the whisper of the day is done: another secret you won’t see.// I would wait all night ‘til the darkness fills my eyes, like it does the sky.// Do you know who you’re waiting for? Would you wait forever and a little more? Well, you can find me on the ocean floor: they’re out singing to me.// And I would wait all night until the darkness fills my eyes, and when the darkness fills my mind I’ll find you in dreaming. I’ll find you in dreaming…// I went to the waterside like I’ve done a hundred times, sending signals with my sleeping mind: next time hear them singing.
Track Name: Sun
The first steps were a walk in the light. The next few tore the day from the night. And there needed to be waves but they grew so big in size: scattered my body across the sky. And I won’t be undone. I turned my back on the sun. Nothing’s ever simple but the simple truth was that I turned my back on the sun.// I became a cloud of crystals, catching starlight, before I was aware I could control myself, move through my mind in the dark night. I could barely speak. And I ate all my gums and my tongue and my teeth, laying underwater feeling pissed cuz I just couldn’t breathe.// After a long time I opened my eyes, that was fucking hard cuz they were shut so fucking tight, and I wanted to be brave and I wanted to be right. And I needed to make up my fucking mind. Cuz I am the one, when push comes to shove, who knows my every angle and the depth of damage done, so I turned my back on the sun.
Track Name: Harriet
Harriet died tomorrow, came to me last week in the middle of the night, she told me “Look for those we’ve lost in the magic, in the wind and in the light.” I felt the pain of the dying, knowing every loss was a death deep inside of me, and I felt powerless to stop it but there’s power in the mourning and the grief.// Margery, would you dance with me? I feel you standing at the back of me. Your eyes bring out the very best in me, tucking in my shirt and singing “Thank you, please, a pleasure to be seen…”// Now, this is the beginning, and the beginning’s always held back by a certain kind of hard. It’s like no one’s ever felt like this before, except for the scars across our hearts. A spider came to dance with me, her story stretching from the back of me, I was alone but she was tracking me in the shadows hearing everything that I said silently. I sang into that ghostly breeze:// “Margery, would you dance with me? I feel you standing at the back of me. Your eyes bring out the very best in me, tucking in my shirt and singing ‘Thank you, please, a pleasure to be seen.’”// Harriet passed last Winter, taught me to notice then to look again, she said, “You’ll find me in the beauty of the branches as they bend into the wind. You’ll find me in the way the wind caresses all the grasses and your skin.”
Track Name: Goodbyes
We’re gonna miss it when it’s gone. If it’s the sun, we’ll leave a light on but if it’s the dark, just close our eyes. We don’t wanna get good at goodbyes.// It’s enough to keep us home cuz with the radio on it’s like we’re never alone. How to keep all our insides inside? When we don’t wanna get good at goodbyes…Yea, no, no, no.// Oh, but since we’re all “adults” here we can choose what we stand to gain against the weight of what is due: scattering our hearts across the sky. We don’t wanna get good at goodbyes. We don’t wanna get good at goodbyes. But we’ll take the shadow parts that make life bright.
Track Name: Please Go Walk In The Rain
You’re too far away now, I can feel it plain, it’s the tremor of a dark cloud breaking up in the winds of change. We’re waiting for rain.// I heard you humming, “…no escape from this pain…”, you barely get up before you’re washed back down again. Yea, what if this storm is always, starts and never ends? We’re waiting for rain.// Keep breathing. We were swimming in a storm on a summer night. Keep breathing. Yea, we were laughing how the sand and the sun felt so right. Keep breathing. How the sharks and the fish live in tears? Let the waves wash away all the sting off your fears…How the sharks and the fish live in tears? Let the waves wash away all the sting off this year.// Keep breathing. Girl, you’ve been a star on the darkest night. Keep breathing. Listen to me, time is on your side. Keep breathing. Oh, you’re a mountain with a brilliant mind. Oh, I guess it’s just a matter of time…but you’re too far away now, and I can feel it plain. It’s the shadow of a storm cloud breaking up, please go walk in the rain. Please go walk in the rain.
Track Name: Quinn
It’s been a long time. A long time walking side by side whispering the passing of the time. We’ve come a long way. A long way washing through the night, mixing with the sparks and firelight. And how we’ve changed. Drifting close and then apart, our bodies on a wave, always tethered in our hearts, yea, we’ve been tethered in our hearts.// Remember you were in my bed, and you were sinking, losing shore? Oh my Evergreen, you were dry and crying “Can’t take anymore…” but, baby, you were 32 then, and you knew only what you knew then, so let me count the times you told me, “Night is darkest just before the dawn.” And let me count the times you showed me when you’re hurting put it in a song.// Yea, how we’ve changed. Drifting close and then apart. Our bodies on a wave, always tethered in our hearts. And when I listen for your beating heart, I know your ocean is gorgeous, and deep wild and true. Your heart beats enormous, and our hearts beat with you. Our hearts beat with you…We’ll be standing on a shore counting pebbles that we’ve walked across. The choices that we’ve made, how we’ve loved and what we’ve lost and gained by being brave, by being kind and unashamed, by being loud and open hearted in times of change, by living sincerely, loving so dearly the blood and beauty we create. For we are family, and we are standing, and our hearts beat the same. It’s been a long time.
Track Name: City
I was in your city and there was thick air on my face, was I in love with this place, I thought, or was it you? I’m headed home now, except you’re coming with me this time, or at least there’s molecules of you stuck to my lips and in my hair.// The Western stars shine down through all the raindrops, and there are highways now in my dreams. There’s so many long highways, stretched out and tangled in between where your mouthbegins and where my mouth begins.// I was in your city and there was thick air on my face, was I in love with this place, I thought, or was it you?